It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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