And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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