is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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