I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
