What did we do last night that was yellow?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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