Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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