guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We need to get me chipped asap
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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