508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
