I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
handjob tips. give me some.
is wine microwaveable?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
