So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
