I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
