I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
