I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i may or may not be watching the land before time
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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