I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
