I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
