Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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