Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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