ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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