My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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