We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
