I'm passing your future prison.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
