I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
