Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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