I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Randomize
