Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
