The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
