I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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