is your mom at the bar?
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
