puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My ass is underappreciated
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
