Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
