He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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