But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
