Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
