he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I didn't notice because vodka
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
