Are we in a gay sports bar?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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