i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I wanna passion pit in your ass
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
