Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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