This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
