Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
