i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
