apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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