He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
