She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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