I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
