i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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