...so i touched it.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
