sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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