Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
