I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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