ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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