is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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