He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
