she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
