you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I am naked and annoyed.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
