This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
